Phone Etiquette


HW (03.27.2018):  Called a dear friend of mine yesterday.  It’s funny, we’ve always been really close, and I love her to pieces, but I find that conversation with her can be pretty awkward.  I don’t know, maybe I’m reading too much into this. I think that I can be a little guarded and I think she might be, too. It’s just hard to keep conversation flowing.  A lot of pauses, not exactly sure what to say next. Some friends I could hang out with all day, talking nonstop. Maybe those people are just more comfortable talking about nothing, talking about things that don’t matter.  Maybe she’s just content staying quiet in place of saying something that doesn’t matter. I’m definitely not. I hate silence in conversation, I think it’s so awkward. I’ll fill it by saying shit that I don’t even mean or haven’t even thought through.  Maybe I should work on that.

SL: I know exactly what you mean.  Since I’ve been locked up I been doin way more talkin on the phone than I would in the world.  When I was out.  I txt crazy.  If we ain’t facetiming than its txting.  The longest I would sit on the phone is 10mins.  Anyway, I say this because I have countless awkward moments or silences on jail calls.  I don’t know what it be.  It’s not that I’m not comfortable cuz I say what I want it be dependin on my mood when I decided to call.  I realize that so I decided to call people only when I actually felt like talking, not because I was bored or cause I thought of them, it’s only when I really wanna talk to you.  That’s when the conversations be bussin.  If I feel like they energy not matchin mine, I get out of there.  I’ll call you back.  Trust me it’s all about timing.  You can get away with sayin shit that you haven’t though through or you don’t mean when it’s play time not when people havin a serious conversation.  Then they gone think you a goofie.  Master yo timing and everything be Gucci.

HW: I forgot going into this that phones are pretty much your one connection with the outside world.  You’re quite the pro when it comes to phone calls, aren’t you.  But this is actually really insightful advice.  I like it.  I just really appreciate how practical this is.  It’s almost like I should have a game plan going into a phone call.  Time the call right so that there are things I want to say and things I want to ask them about.  Plan out these things and know how I’m going to say it.  Make sure I’m in the right mood.  Lol phone calls go better for me when I’m drinking a cup of coffee or a glass of wine.  Puts me in the right mood for talking.  And, if things are just not going well, let the call go and try back another time.  Not to say that I’m trying to be a total control freak when it comes to reaching out to friends.  But I do agree with you, time and timing is just so valuable.  Using it wisely helps to make these friendships strong.