“Your thoughts alone is the root of the problem itself.”


Victoria is a Catholic Navy wife and a new mom. Dahvie is an incarcerated Chicago gang member. They write letters back and forth (you can learn more about it here). In this post, Victoria shares about how she tries to cope with stress.


Victoria: Went for a run today.  I’ve been experiencing low moods recently.  Just...not doing a good job keeping a positive attitude. I’ve been really focused on negatives in my life, things going on with teaching, people who have rejected me...and it’s really getting to me.  I focus a lot of my energy and attention on it. The run is one of my steps to wellness. I’m trying to eat right, keep my body in shape, do the things I love..trying to keep my moods up.

It’s so hard, because I know that I’m extremely blessed and I have really nothing in my life to feel so bad about.  I went running without music...trying right now to clear my mind, really be free of everything that’s cluttering my brain. It’s a struggle.


Dahvie: If yo negatives in life just things goin on with teaching and about people who rejected you, then that ain’t shit!  How do you let things you have no control over have control over you?  Of your feelings?  That’s something I never understood.  You got to get over that type of shit.  It’s frivolous.  And I know a lot of people that’s like that.  SMH. 

You have to careful what you put your energy into because too much energy on something negative, attracts more negative energy.  Then your problem become bigger or attitude becomes worse.  Your thoughts alone is the root of the problem itself.  Work on your thoughts…then your feelings will change!  Don’t try comparing your situation to others either.  In no type of way cause your energy is still focus on the problem itself.  Keep doin what you like to do and think about what you like to do.  Think about how you feel doin what you like to do, then watch the difference in your attitude!


Victoria: Thank you, Dahvie.  This actually was a good dose of things that I’ve been needing to hear.  I have a few people in my life who’ve been telling me the same thing.  I gotta start listening.  I get caught into a spiral: negative things feed into more negative energy which make it feel like more negative things are happening.   If I keep feeding the spiral, it’s almost impossible to get out.

When I get to thinking like this, my husband likes to start hitting me with a pillow.  True story, lol! He actually has it done to a science. It works both to help me get out of the spiral, and it’s also a great metaphor.  Your problems are like getting hit by a pillow.  It’s ridiculous to get hit by a pillow, it’s not that big of a deal, it actually can get pretty silly.  But if your attitude is bad, it’s going to feel like a horrible thing that’s happening.  If I get angry at him for hitting me with a pillow, I know something’s wrong with my thinking.  I have to be able to laugh at myself, and the situation.