It Never Mattered


SL (undated): I went to court today.  Good thing about that is I get some movement.  Get to see people on the new and all type of shit.  It never fail to run into somebody from around the way.  Of course he noticed me before I saw him, whole time he already looked familiarly.  He asked me did I use to have dreads. I knew he knew me. Shouting from bullpen to bullpen we faked kick it.  He wanted to talk about my case and shit. Nawl dawg we ain’t on that. He did keep remindin me and my rappie how the guys keep our name alive out there.  That shit don’t mean nothin. Where the $, visits, letters, something. All that clout chasing, screaming names don’t mean nothing. People got they sense of support backwards.  Really I feel the conversation was useless I couldn’t even get no drugs no shoes nothing! His ass in the way! Talking about how he might be going home. What? Nigga you can’t/wan’t buy some more shoes, when you get home?  Niggas ain’t having shit. Then to add to this foolery. My rappie told me how his lawyer came to see him, and said investigators had talked to the witness who accused us of what suppose to have happen right, now why this punk ass nigga tell the investigators I fucked his bitch?! WTF who does that.  And who is that bitch? LMAO.


HW: “Faked kick it”...I think that pretty much sums it up.  It amazes me some time just how many of my interactions are fake, not to say I’m fake but just smiling and being nice and asking questions just because it’s what I’m supposed to do, not because you actually mean it or care what’s going on in a person’s life.  I’m really working on caring more. I know that we’re supposed to care about everybody, love your neighbor and all that, but sometimes it just doesn’t come naturally. And yeah I totally agree seem like they have the support thing backwards. They’re out there screaming your name but they never come visit, write you a letter...they’re leaving you there to rot, really.  Seems to me like they’re wasting their breath shouting your name like that. At least it’s nice that they're thinking about you, maybe? Not that thinking helps your situation at all.


SL: I think we should do what comes naturally not what other people think.  (That’s just me though).  Far as this post: It never mattered.