A Housewife Encounters the Savagelife

A Housewife Encounters the Savagelife.png

Victoria is a Navy wife and a new mom. Dahvie is a incarcerated Chicago gang member. They write letters back and forth. In this post, Victoria recounts how their correspondence began.

Victoria: It's not every day a conservative housewife meets a Chicago savage (made even more difficult by the fact that he’s in, well, prison).  And it's basically unicorn status that they'd start a blog.  For those interested in unicorn hunting (or really mother-in-laws, crying over wedding favors, and two people working towards trust) here's how it happened:


Oh, Mother-in-Laws…

Victoria: We owe this blog to a mother-in-law-slash-second-grade-teacher.  Mrs. Christina kept little elementary school SL in line, and I'm the longsuffering daughter-in-law.  Kidding aside, she’s probably the closest thing to a saint that Dahvie or I will ever meet (we’ll be referring to her in the blog as Mrs. Christina, but we probably should just call her St. Christina). 

Years after Dahvie was in her class, Mrs. Christina found him on Facebook and started writing him letters, which she continued to do when he was in jail.  There will be a series in the upcoming months about her experiences with Dahvie.

Dahvie: “I know she’s [Mrs. Christina’s] genuine.  She respects my mind and opinion.  If she don’t agree she still try to understand without judging or at least make me feel judged.” “Ever since Mrs. Christina found me on FB things been…different.  I’m super grateful for wonderful people in my life and interested in my well-being.”

Victoria: Mrs. Christina roped me into sending Dahvie Christmas and Birthday cards, as a little way of brightening up his holiday. I sent him a really dumb card for Christmas—it was a dog wearing antlers and it was called a “Yule Dog.”  My husband didn’t even get the joke. (Dahvie: “I liked it.  I do have a strange sense of humor so I found it cute rather yall didn’t or not.  Thank you.”)


Wedding Bliss and Tough Shit

Victoria: The blog started largely because Dahvie was sent to the hole the month before my wedding. The contrast was jarring -- he was struggling with loneliness and lack of basics (like deodorant.  Imagine going like an hour without deodorant ) and I was in tears because my wedding favors weren’t right (#ashamed).  I needed a HUGE dose of reality, and I wanted to find a creative way for him to overcome the loneliness.  So I suggested we start a blog—a way for him to share his voice.  I was surprised to find that he wanted to hear my voice, too:

Dahvie: “What is your intentions with this blog and who is your expected audience…it kinda seemed like I was being singled out.  Like put on the spot.  Since/because I don’t really know you you should understand why my guard would be up.  I’m not sayin your fake or anything I’m just askin what’s your plan.  This a us thing not a…black dude in jail type of blog? (Please laugh cuz I’m not angry or bein cruel).  Just curious.  That way I can know what type of personality to bring to this blog.  Although I only want one (me) however its sad to say I’m a man with many faces…That way my feelings don’t get hurt in the end.”

Victoria: “Yeah I can totally see why you felt that I was singling you out.  Part of that is because I think that I’m boring in the eyes of the world, you know, how I’m a stay-at-home wife, with not a lot going on except my husband’s Navy stuff.  Like the most interesting thing I did this week was go to a social function my husband had for work. At the same time, I’ve read and studied a lot and I have a lot of ideas about things.  I want to share these ideas but…  No one’s really trying to listen and really try to understand each other.  I want to know what you think and why you think it—sometimes we might agree and sometimes we might disagree.  But I think it’s only fair that you also listen to my ideas and really try to understand them, does that make sense?”

Dahvie: “Yes it do.  But I know religion, sports (which IDGAF about) and politics is something you never argue about.  So promise this don’t become arguing back and forth type of thing.”


The Name

I was thinking Housewife and Thuglife, but…

Dahvie: Housewife & Thuglife—L.M.A.O. it’s cool but I think it will limit our audience People will be uninterested cuz of thuglife.  That’s what I think.  And its stereotyping me.  I’m not a thug.  I’m a SAVAGE.  But really I’m a man.  I just bring out things that society label “Unjustifiable”

So there you have it: Housewife // Savagelife.