Savage Thoughts (undated): So I call the house, first my mama was talking to some DCFs agent so she asked me to call back. That blew me to hear who she was talking to because I already have 2 siblings in foster care. Well they adopted now but it’s the same thing to me. They not with they birth family. I don’t even know them. Never meet them either. It’s a sad story.
Now to hear she talking to dcfs again while she in custody of my baby sister scares the fuck out of me cuz that’s my heart. I love her to death. I would never forgive my mother if she loses her. But the guilt really eats at me because I’m in jail and can’t do a damn thing to help. I know if I was out there DCFs wouldn’t even be all up in our business.
So after 20 minutes I call back. Of course I ask whats to that dcfs shit she played it off like it was nothing. Really I couldn’t care less about what they talked about as long as my lil sister with us then everything fine. After she confirmed it, I got to addressing a lot of shit on my mind like how my older sister don’t seem to wanna answer her phone and other things. No really even wanting to talk, just checking up on things I ended the call but not before being yelled at saying I’m not the only one going through something. Is she right yea, I understand that but aint nobody situation worser than mine. Plus it ain’t like this shit with me just popped up. MFs been treating me like a outcast so all that shit she was talking is irrelevant. Not tryna hear it.
Lowkey I feel like I’m on the edge of bussin up! Straight losing my mind doing everything I witness everybody else do but not understanding why. But I see now its because a nigga don’t care no more. Fuck being calm cool and collective, that shit don’t get you nowhere. Seem like a nigga gotta get wild to get some attention.
HW: Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry to hear that about your little sister. Like this really was tough for me to read, I couldn’t imagine how tough this is. I have three younger siblings and a brother-in-law, and my younger sister and my brother-in-law are eleven. I love them to pieces, and it would kill me to know that anything had ever happened to them. And then there’s you, who’s stuck in prison and there’s literally nothing you can do about it. Ugh I would go INSANE.
Ok, so don’t take this as harsh, I’m just asking what’s on my mind: you’ve mentioned that maybe your mom isn’t always the best parent. Would foster care maybe be good for them to get out of a bad situation? I know that foster care isn’t always the best, but maybe it would be better for them? I know that this might be a really tough thing to say but if it’s the best for your sister, wouldn’t you want it for her? Like I don’t mean this to be judging how you’re feeling, I’ve never been in this position and I don’t know how I would act if I was in your situation.
I’m praying so much that you’re able to stay strong. You’ve got so much stress and pressure on you. I just…I just wish you wouldn’t get wild about it. I feel like you have so much good that you can do in your family’s life…in your sister’s life. She is so blessed that you love her so much, but I feel like she needs you to keep it together so that you can support her the best you can.
SL: You right. My focus is getting out and takin care of her. Getting wild won’t do shit but push my time back. I’m glad this is an old post. That situation cam and past. I really don’t even wanna speak on it anymore. My mom isn’t the best parent but at least she has support. My sister needs to be around family. Her family not no damn strangers. SO I believe it isn’t best for her. But if it was, of course I would want the best then yea. But to be totally honest it wasn’t that bad. It just the timing was wrong to hear something like that. I panicked and expected the worse.