“Our environments just destroyed our hopes and dreams”

 
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SL (undated 2016): “They ain’t never care bout me, about me/So why should I give two fucks about them, about them./They ain’t never care about meee/So why should give two fucks about them.”  In my nigga KT voice.  It’s crazy how much talent be behind these doors.  Singers, rappers, artist, just to name a few.  Our environments just destroyed our hopes and dreams due to a lack of opportunity.

HW: I bet.  Everyone has their gift, abilities, and talents…it must be so hard to think of that going to waste.  I think about that with you a lot, actually.  You’ve got talents, you’re a great writer, you have a lot of good insights about human nature, and you’re really smart.  I think that’s definitely going to waste in jail (less now because of the blog—lol).  By “environments” did you mean just in jail or outside of jail as well?

SL: Both Elle both.  And my talent ain’t extraordinary.  And what makes me so smart?  Everybody say that but to me, I do dumb shit.  I know I do.

HW: I know you wrote this a long time ago, but I’m curious.  You’ve called yourself wise before, a good thinker.  Now you’re saying that you do dumb shit.  What do you mean by that?  Why do you say that?  Is there a contradiction between how you think and how you act?

SL: Yea there’s a contradiction between how I think and how I act.  IC I acted exactly how I think I’d be dead a long time ago.  I’m wise cuz I know the difference between my actions and my thoughts, and why. 

My motto is show the people what they wanna see.  Put up a mirror.  People love they image in the mirror.  They will look at it all day.  So I act like others but think like me.  Until I get around people who think like me I gotta act like others or I’ll be isolated, last out.  Alone.  And right now I’m not ready for that yet.  When I’m a full grown man with my own family my own income and shit like that then it’s different.  I want need people.  I’m still growing Vic.  I’m not at my best yet.